A First Year Teacher's Reflection

The school year is coming to a close and my students are taking their last few exams. As the year ends all the teachers and students look forward to summer with anticipation, but I seriously think that the teachers are more excited than the students. But, before I set off on a plane bound for a much needed vacation I really needed and wanted to reflect on my first year as an educator.

"Your first year is the hardest," are the words of encouragement I received in undergraduate regarding my upcoming career. But, nothing that they had said could have prepared me for this year. The challenges that arose from my precious 7th graders are unlike anything I have ever imagined. Behavior management, which I used to think was my strength, I struggled with. Connecting literature to teaching the students how to be compassionate human beings was next to impossible. Teaching writing was a wreck. No one knew what a sentence was. Reading was a whole other catastrophe as I struggled to teach the kids to read with the only resources given to middle school teachers, which were novels way beyond their level. But, the curriculum wasn't the worst part. The blatant disrespect and misbehavior of the boys and the intense cyber bullying and social drama with the girls was what kept pushing me over the edge of sanity. How do you make a boy who has been told his whole life that he is better than everyone else listen to you or other adults? How do you stop a group of twenty-six girls from cyber bullying and excluding others when it is all happening in another language? How can you discipline a child who fears no punishment (expulsion, suspension, ect.)? And what do you do when children who are twelve years old think it is okay to punch, kick, and call the cops on teachers during school? Luckily, being a female I never was victim to the last situation. However, I watched on several occasions when teachers of the highest caliber were kicked or punched by students. And just last week when one student proceeded to call the cops on a fellow teacher for telling him he couldn't hit other boys. No narrative I write here could ever explain exactly what this year was like or what these students are like. Yet, you can imagine how discouraging it was as a new teacher. The entire time I kept thinking I am failing these kids, and I am failing in this job.

However, veteran teachers and professionals who have taught for many years all told me that they shared in my struggles as well. This knowledge made me feel somewhat hopeful. Hopeful because if these amazing teachers with experience struggled the same with these students then maybe I wasn't failing them. I realized that it good to doubt myself often and reflect on how I can do better for next year. And as I reflected I realized all the incredible things that these crazy kids have taught me and that maybe I managed to teach them a little something along the way.

They may still be a long way from grade level, but the fact that the average reading level for 7th grade was 3rd grade last year and now at the end of this year they are at 6th grade reading level, is a small accomplishment. They may struggle to write paragraphs but they can write sentences now. And they may not have become changed by it, but they now have the knowledge of the wrongs of racism and bullying planted in their heads. I didn't change any of these kids lives this year. And in five years when they graduate they may barely remember me. But, I learned from them so much and look forward to a new year where I can take my mistakes and tears from this year and turn them into something productive for next. And as hard as 90% of this school year was for me the other 10% really makes me sad to say goodbye to these ridiculous students. One student summed up what I am feeling when he told me "Miss you know when you have something you don't like it. And when it is gone then you miss it. We didn't like you, but now that you won't teach us again we are really sad to not have you. Please teach us next year!" While I don't anticipate teaching them again I will miss them when they are no longer 'my crazy kids.'

25 things I've learned

Okay so I may have been binge reading Buzzfeeds lists today as I sit at home sick. But they inspired me to make a list of everything I've learned while living here. Some of them are silly, some serious, and some just random observations that I have found while living abroad.

1: Don't sit on the concrete it will burn your bum through jeans

2: Cold water doesn't exist from June-September

3: When a sandstorm comes in wrap your scarf over your head (see #4)

4: Always have a scarf on or in your bag

5: Don't drink the tap water. Ever.

6: Book flights 6 weeks before your flight on Tuesday 3:00 pm Eastern Time

7: You really only need to pack three outfits for a weeks vacation

8: Vitamin D deficiency is huge here because it is too hot to be outside for long

9: UV rays are strongest in the winter and very minimal in summers here (results you burn/tan in winter but not the summer)

10: Any drug is available without prescription at a fraction of the cost in U.S . . .

11: You can barter for literally anything

12: Bucket Lists and having an "agenda" of what to do/where to travel never works out well

13: A black camel is worth around 1 million USD

14: Every document needs a stamp. Every single one, even receipts

15: Don't put your clothes outside to dry. The sandstorms will blow sand onto your wet clothes

16: Always dress up for a "brunch"

17: You won't get into any bar or most restaurants in flip flops (male or female)

18: Keep a pair of sunglasses in the car, one on your head, and one in your bag

19: Maxi dresses/skirts are a girls best friend

20: It's not that you ever get used to the heat you just learn to ignore the sweat

21: Even in the winter you want to run before 7 am when it starts getting to warm

22: Always have a jacket handy at night during the winter. It gets surprisingly cold

23: "Ladies" don't ride camels apparently

24: Shared taxis (mini vans) are 2x faster than the bus system at the same price, only downside being the only female in a dirty smelly van for 1.5 hours to or from the city

25: Living abroad is no different 99% of the time than living at home. A cycle of work. Eat. Sleep and repeat and in between just binge watching tv and working out. It's the other 1% of the time that make people stay abroad.